He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
