Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize