I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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