you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
