ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
party gras won. party gras always wins.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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