a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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