Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
