I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm bleeding and have questions
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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