OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
That accounts for only three of the penises
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
