my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
