They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize