I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
