I'm gonna have a badass scar
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
its not stalking. its research.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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