that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
