A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
