The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
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