Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
