Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
