I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Randomize
