If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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