Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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