Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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