ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
