She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
