i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
