chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Randomize