Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
