The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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