i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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