the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
false alarm, still single
Randomize
