You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I can text with my tongue
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
