And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
