I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
