you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
