I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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