is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize