i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
We need a shit load of segways right now
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize