hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
