I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 607 share tweet
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize