We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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