I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize