The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize