He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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