they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
