I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
