found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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