I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
We have so much sex to catch up on
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Randomize
