Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize