did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
