I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
