The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
