I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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