i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
