insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
