vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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