no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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