I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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