i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize