omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Randomize
