Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
