I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
