another moral hangover. fuck.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
