Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
