you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I intend to get homeless drunk
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
