My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
