I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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