I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
