Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
