i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
