and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
