my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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