Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
