and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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